Dolly Polly

In recent times, I have noticed the alarming increase in a certain mental disorder in our country. No, I am not talking about bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. There has not been any proper scientific studies carried out on this disorder, which seems to be 'evolving' into a disease, but it can be widely observed in our society of today. I call it the 'Pro-Colonialism Disorder'.

The country we call home now, was built upon the blood, sweat and tears of our forefathers and independence was not a given. Under colonial rule, discrimination, oppression and segregation were not an uncommon sight. Proponents of colonialism might argue that colonial rule contributed to the growth of the colony, which 'if left to its own devices, would not be able to thrive'. Basically, it is 'I will profit from your growth and abuse your people at the same time'. Well, the end never ever does justify the means. Anyways, enough with the history lessons and back to the topic.

These days it seems, there is an increasing number of people who aspire to be Captain Ahab (in the novel Moby Dick, Captain Ahab is relentless in his search for a white sperm whale, Moby Dick, known for his ferocity and sheer size). However it is different, these 'Captain Ahabs' are not looking for revenge; rather they wish to be like the white sperm whale, Moby Dick. In the process, these people try to emulate the vocal sounds and adapt the behavioural patterns of Moby Dick, whilst forgetting their roots and not forgetting to condemn their fellow countrymen for not being like Moby the Dick.

I am perfectly fine with the idea of foreigners coming to our country. I think it is a good thing as it adds vibrancy and robustness to the cultural environment of the country. What I cannot stand for though, is how some of them have no respect for the country in which they are in. Worse still, they expect that country to be exactly like how their own country is. How would you like it if somebody came to your house and started defecating all over your place? What disgusts me more than anything else, are how some Asians would actually place these people on a pedestal and revere them as the 'Messiah'. They kiss the ground upon which their so-called 'Messiahs' walk.

These people with the pro-colonialism mentality are often found speaking in ‘accents’ (of places which they most probably have not been to), with the purpose of impressing their ‘masters’ and to fit in with the people in whom they surround themselves with. This often results in a linguistic catastrophe when, in the midst of their ‘accent’, their local slang pops up. The result is a weird sound resembling that of an animal’s distress or mating call. I can understand if, for clarity’s sake, that you leave the out the local slang and lingo but please, do not try to put up a phony accent.

Also, these pro-colonialists embrace whatever their ‘masters’ say as gospel truth, without question or doubt. For instance, if their ‘master’ and his cronies make certain racial remarks, these pro-colonialists, would never think twice about rebutting them, but in fact, lap it up like sunbirds to morning dew. Some times, these pro-colonialists join in the racial tirade, to get into the good books of their ‘master’. They forgo the legacy of their forefathers, their DNA and everything that made them who they are. These pro-colonialists also try extremely hard to be like their ‘masters’ to the extent that they actually believe they are. As they would say it in the streets, these people 'sold out', big time.

In a ‘developed’ society like ours, where the literacy rate is high, by right, mentality of these sorts are supposed to have been eradicated. However, that is not true and in fact, over the years, I see an increasing trend in the rise of the pro-colonialism mentality. In Asia, human relations are all about mutual respect. More often than not, these ‘masters’ and their ‘pets’ are the ones who would be vocal about human rights issue like the ‘Free Tibet’ movement. If you feel that your ‘cause’ is more noble and your ‘one size fits all’ form of ‘liberal democracy’ makes you superior and gives you the authority of a ‘Messiah’, then I say, continue to live in your own democratic fantasies and not come out of your bubble world, if you do not understand the meaning of respect.

I am not a racist, a xenophobe or a sociophobe. I am not anti-immigrant and neither am I a conservative or a member of a right-wing party. I am against any form of racism, discrimination or prejudice. I was brought up in an environment whereby I do not judge a person according to his race, religion or social status and so, I do not believe in segregation of any form. I strongly despise perpetrators of discrimination. At the end of the day, all that matters is a person’s character and mentality. You may be yellow, brown, black or white but the blood that courses through our veins is red.

People may tell me, that what I have written is either untrue or that it only happens in extreme cases. All you got to do is open your eyes and look around you. You will see these part-sheep part-parrot abominations of nature around. These sheep are mere clones with half-assed pseudo accents who are trained to say things that their ‘masters’ want to hear, like parrots, hence the tongue-in-cheek term: ‘Polly wants a cracker.’

Only time will tell, if this mental disorder would evolve into a full-fledged virus which eventually causes an epidemic. Well, I hope not.